How to gain control of your free time | Laura Vanderkam | TED

WhenpeoplefindoutIwriteabouttimemanagement,

theyassumetwothings.

OneisthatI'malwaysontime.

AndI'mnot.

Ihavefoursmallchildren,

andIwouldliketoblamethemformyoccasionaltardiness,

butsometimesit'sjustnottheirfault.

Iwasoncelatetomyownspeechontimemanagement.

Weallhadtojusttakeamomenttogetherandsavorthatirony.

ThesecondthingtheyassumeisthatIhavelotsoftipsandtricks

forsavingbitsoftimehereandthere.

AndsometimesI'llhearfrommagazines

thataredoingastoryalongtheselines,

generallyonhowtohelptheirreadersfindanextrahourintheday.

Andtheideaisthatwe'llshave

bitsoftimeoffeverydayactivities,

additup,

andwe'llhavetimeforthegoodstuff.

AndIquestiontheentirepremiseofthispiece,

butI'malwaysinterestedinhearingwhat

they'vecomeupwithbeforetheycallme.

Sosomeofmyfavorites,

doingerrandsinawaywhereyouonlyhavetomakeright-handturns,

beingextremelyjudiciousinmicrowaveusage,

soitsaysthreetothreeandahalfminutesonthepackage,

weweretotallygettinginonthebottomsideofthat.

Andmypersonalfavorite,

whichmakessenseonsomelevel,

istoDVRyourfavoriteshowssoyoucan

fast-forwardthroughthecommercials.

Andthatwayyousaveabouteightminuteseveryhalfhour.

SointhecourseoftwohoursofwatchingTV,

youfind32minutestoexercise.

Whichistrue.

Youknowanotherwaytofind32minutestoexercise?

Don'twatchtwohoursofTVaday,right?

Anyway,

theideaiswe'llsavebitsoftimehereandthere,

additup,

wewillfinallygettoeverythingwewanttodo.

Butafterstudyinghowsuccessfulpeoplespendtheirtime,

andlookingattheirscheduleshourbyhour,

Ithinkthisideahasitcompletelybackward.

Wedon'tbuildtheliveswewantbysavingbitsoftime.

Webuildtheliveswewant,

andthentimesavesitself.

Here'swhatImean.

IrecentlydidaTimeDiaryproject,

lookingat1,001daysinthelivesofextremelybusywomen.

Theyhaddemandingjobs,

sometimestheirownbusinesses,

kidstocarefor,maybeparentstocarefor,

communitycommitments,busy,busypeople.

Ihadthemkeeptrackoftheirtimeforaweek

soIcouldadduphowmuchtheyworkedandslept,

andIinterviewedthemabouttheirstrategiesformybook.

OneofthewomenwhosetimelogIstudied,

shegoesoutforaWednesdaynightforsomething.

Shecomeshometofindthatherwaterheaterhasbroken,

andthereisnowwateralloverherbasement.

Ifyou'veeverhadanythinglikethishappentoyou,

youknowitisahugelydamaging,

frightening,

soppingmess.

Soshe'sdealingwiththeimmediateaftermaththatnight,

nextdayshe'sgotplumberscomingin,

dayafterthat,

professionalcleaningcrewdealingwiththeruinedcarpet.

Allthisisbeingrecordedonhertimelog,

windsuptakingsevenhours.

Sevenhoursofherweek.

Sevenhours.

That'slikefindinganextrahourintheday.

ButI'msureifyouhadaskedheratthestartoftheweek,

couldyoufindsevenhourstotrainforatriathlon?

Couldyoufindsevenhourstomentorsevenworthypeople?

I'msureshewouldhavesaidwhatmostofuswouldhavesaid,

whichis,

no.

Can'tyouseehowbusyIam?

Yetwhenshehadtofindsevenhours,

thereiswateralloverherbasement,

shefoundsevenhours.

Andwhatthisshowsusisthattimeishighlyelastic.

Wecannotmakemoretime,

buttimewillstretchtoaccommodate

whatwechoosetoputintoit.

Andsothekeytotimemanagementistreatingourpriorities

astheequivalentofthatbrokenwaterheater.

Andtogetatthis,

IliketousesomelanguagefromoneofthebusiestpeopleIever

interviewed.

Bybusy,

Imeanshewasrunningasmall

businesswith12peopleonthepayroll.

Shehadsixchildreninhersparetime.

Iwasgettingintouchwithhertoset

upaninterviewonhowshehaditall,

thatphrase.

IrememberitwasaThursdaymorning,

andshewasnotavailabletospeakwithme,

ofcourse,

right?

Butthereasonshewasunavailabletospeak

withmeisthatshewasoutforahike.

Becauseitwasabeautifulspringmorning,

andshewantedtogoforahike.

So,

ofcourse,

thismakesmeevenmoreintrigued.

AndwhenIfinallydocatchupwithher,

sheexplainsthat

Idon'thavetimetodoX,

YorZ.Shesays,

listen,

Laura,

everythingIdo,

everyminuteIspend

ismychoice.

Andratherthansay,

Idon'thavetimetodoX,

YorZ,

she'dsay,

Idon'tdoX,

YorZbecauseit'snotapriority.

Idon'thavetimeoftenmeansit'snotapriority.

Ifyouthinkaboutit,

that'sreallymoreaccuratelanguage.

Imean,

IcouldtellyouIdon'thavetimetodustmyblinds,

butthat'snottrue.

Ifyouofferedtopayme$100,000togodustmyblinds,

Iwouldgettoitprettyquickly.

Sincethatisnotgoingtohappen,

Icanacknowledgethisisnotamatteroflackingtime.

It'sthatIdon'twanttodoit.

Usingthislanguageremindsusthattime

isachoice.

Andgranted,

theremaybehorribleconsequencesformakingdifferentchoices,

Iwillgiveyouthat.

Butwearesmartpeople,

andcertainlyoverthelongrun,

wehavethepowertofillourlives

withthethingsthatdeservetobethere.

Howdowedothat?

Howdowetreatourprioritiesasthe

equivalentofthatbrokenwaterheater?

Well,firstweneedtofigureoutwhattheyare.

AndIwanttogiveyoutwostrategiesforthinkingaboutthis.

Thefirst,ontheprofessionalside.

I'msuremanypeoplecominguptotheendoftheyear

aregivingorgettingannualperformancereviews.

Youlookbackoveryoursuccessesovertheyear,

youropportunitiesforgrowth.

Andthisservesitspurpose,

butIfindit'smoreeffectivetodothislookingforward.

SoIwantyoutopretendit'stheendofnextyear.

AndIwantyoutothinkaboutwhatyoucareabout.

Whatthreetofivethingsdidyoudothatmadeitsoamazing?

Soyoucanwritenextyear'sfamilyholidayletternow.

Don'tsendit.

Please.

Don'tsendit.

Butyoucanwriteit.

Andnowbetweentheperformancereviewandthefamilyholidayletter,

wehavealistofsixtotengoalswecanworkoninthenextyear.

Andnowweneedtobreakthesedownintodoablesteps.

Sowhatarethegoalsforthenextyear?

Well,

firstyoucanreadsomeotherfamilyhistories,

getasenseforthestyle.

Andthenmaybethinkaboutthequestions

youwanttoaskyourrelatives,

setupappointmentstointerviewthem.

Ormaybeyouwanttoruna5K.Soyouneedtofind

araceandsignupandfigureoutatrainingplan

anddigthoseshoesoutofthebackofthecloset.

Andthen,

thisiskey,

wetreatourprioritiesastheequivalentofthatbroken

waterheaterbyputtingthemintoourschedulesfirst.

Andwedothisbythinkingthroughourweeks

beforeweareinthem.

IfindareallygoodtimetodothisisFridayafternoons.

Fridayafternooniswhataneconomist

mightcallalow-opportunity-costtime.

MostofusarenotsittingthereonFridayafternoonssaying,

Iamexcitedtomakeprogresstowardmy

personalandprofessionalprioritiesrightnow.

Butwearewillingtothinkaboutwhatthoseshouldbe.

SotakealittlebitoftimeFridayafternoon,

makeyourselfathree-categoryprioritylist.

Career,

relationships,

self.

Makingathree-categorylistreminds

usthatthereshouldbesomething

inallthreecategories.

Careerwethinkabout,

relationships,

self,

notsomuch.

Butanyway,

justashortlist,

twotothreeitemsineach.

Thenlookoutoverthewholeofthenext

weekandseewhereyoucanplanthemin.

Whereyouplantheminisuptoyou.

AndIknowthisisgoingtobemore

complicatedforsomepeoplethanothers.

Imean,

somepeople'slivesarejustharderthanothers.

Itisnotgoingtobeeasytofindtimetotakethatpoetry

classifyouarecaringformultiplechildrenonyourown.

Igetthat.

AndIdon'twanttominimizeanyone'sstruggle.

ButIdothinkthatthenumbersI

amabouttotellyouareempowering.

Thereare168hours

inaweek.

24timessevenisonehour.

Sevenis168hours.

That

isalotoftime.

Ifyouareworkingafull-timejob,

so40hoursaweek,

sleepingeighthoursanight,

so56hoursaweek,

thatleaves72hoursforotherthings.

Thatisalotoftime.

Yousayyou'reworking50hoursaweek,

maybeamainjobandasidehustle,

well,thatleaves62hoursforotherthings.

Yousayyou'reworking60hours,

well,

thatleaves52hoursforotherthings.

Yousayyou'reworkingmorethan60hours,

well,

areyousure?

Therewasonceastudycomparingpeople's

estimatedworkweekswithtimediaries.

Itfoundthatpeopleclaiming75-plushour

workweekswereoffbyabout25hours.

Youcanguessinwhichdirection,right?

Anyway,

in168hoursaweek,

Ithinkwecanfindtimeforwhatmatterstoyou.

Ifyouwanttospendmoretimewithyourkids,

youwanttostudymoreforatestyou'retaking,

exerciseforthreehoursandvolunteerfortwo,

youcan.

Andthat'sevenifyou'reworkingwaymorethanfull-timehours.

Sowehaveplentyoftime,

whichisgreat,

becauseguesswhat?

Wedon'tevenneedthatmuchtimetodoamazingthings.

Butwhenmostofushavebitsoftime,

whatdowedo?

Pulloutthephone,right?

Startdeletingemails.

Otherwise,

we'reputteringaroundthehouseorwatchingTV.Butsmallmoments

canhavegreatpower.

Youcanuseyourbitsoftimeforbitsofjoy.

Maybeit'schoosingtoreadsomething

wonderfulonthebusonthewaytowork.

IknowwhenIhadajobthatrequiredtwo

busridesandasubwayrideeverymorning,

Iusedtogotothelibraryonweekendstogetstufftoread.

Itmadethewholeexperiencealmost,

almostenjoyable.

Breaksatworkcanbeusedformeditatingorpraying.

Iffamilydinnerisoutbecauseofyourcrazyworkschedule,

maybefamilybreakfast.

Familybreakfastcouldbeagoodsubstitute.

It'saboutlookingatthewholeofone'stime

andseeingwherethegoodstuffcango.

Itrulybelievethis.

Thereistime.

Evenifwearebusy,

wehavetimeforwhatmatters.

Andwhenwefocusonwhatmatters,

wecanbuildtheliveswewantinthetimewe'vegot.

Thankyou.

Thankyou.